Friday, March 27, 2015

Mrs. Harrison.

Mrs. Harrison was a childless World War II widow. I didn't know her first name. When we became neighbours in a small town called Hexham she was already a grand old lady well into her seventies. Her face was wrinkled and she had a canopy of silver grey hair. She mostly wore a tweed dress, a hat and held a vanity bag when she ventured out of the house just like all other ladies at that time. Her hands were bony and the veins stood out under the pale dry skin. She never once did mind when I played with her strangely behaving skin on her hands pulling it up and making it stand in place or stretching it to examine the veins more closely. I never got tired of this curious activity. I guess she was as amused by me as I was by her wrinkled hands.
She lived all by herself in a dainty house and she tended to her garden all by herself despite her stiff joints. Her garden was simple, pretty and neat with a patch of verdant lawn edged by rows of colourful flowers; roses, tulips daffodils, poppies and magnolias. She grew all that in her neat little garden.
With no siblings at that time I had to amuse myself with whatever I had at my disposal, like Mrs. Harrison’s garden, besides the dolls and toys.  I was only six years old then and wasn't even aware that someone lived next door and that the garden belonged to them.  For a week cartwheeling, stumbling, rolling and skipping on the lawn continued unhindered whilst unbeknownst to me Mrs. Harrison watched from her upstairs window, as she told me later on. Perhaps it would have taken longer for her to enter on the scene if not for the skipping rope handle which I accidentally hurled on her window pane almost shattering it to pieces. That was when I saw her for the first time.  
We became gardener buddies. She showed me how to mow the lawn and trim the edges of the lawn. She mowed the lawn while trimming the edges became my ritual.  I watched in awe as she ran the lawn mower in overlapping lines over the lawn and took in the aroma of the freshly cut lawn.  Then both of us would search for weeds and pull them out.
One day we were both in the garden shed retrieving our gardening tools for another gardening session and I happened to knock her down accidentally. She caught her leg in a bucket and went down on all fours. Being the child I was I didn’t realize the impact it had on her, given her age, till she showed my mother the bruises the next day. I was horrified and felt a good measure of shame too for not apologizing immediately. I was excused anyway since she held no grudge on her little friend and gardening partner. The lesson was well learnt but poor Mrs. Harrison “took the fall”.
During holidays most times would be spent sitting by the front window watching traffic as it would either be too cold to venture out or my parents would be busy with extra duties. Mrs.  Harrison would occasionally take me out to the playground. Those trips were exhilarating and lifted my spirits from the tedium. Though the wind blew cold over my face till I could feel my nose no more it was the best time I could have. She would pack sandwiches and we would walk to the local pastry shop where she would buy raisin bread and butter. On our way back we would stop near a park and eat our sandwiches on a park bench. On one such trip I munched on my delicious cucumber and lettuce sandwich and curiously watched a couple of teenagers fooling around on the lawn and tried to make sense out of it.
She also baked biscuits and called them rock biscuits perhaps because they had no regular shape but tasted heavenly. The exclusivity lied in the fact that she baked them for me. She told me stories of birds and fairies and kept an eye on me till my parents returned late from work. I grew so fond of her that I would seldom miss the opportunity to sneak out of the house after supper to be with her. She happily let me in and I would watch her intently go about doing her regular chores.
She had bought me a double string of exquisite pearls as a parting gift. The day of departure neared and she took my mother aside one day and asked if she could adopt me. She assured my mother that I would be looked after well and she would even mention me in her Will. This took my mother by surprise and she politely declined. Many years later I learnt about this exchange and wished that my mother had left me behind then.
Wherever she is now I know the sweet soul is happy. I wish that someday I could lay a flower on her grave and thank her in silence for some of the best memories of my childhood.

Dear old Mrs. Harrison.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Dolly the dog, Kurien the sheep



The day you came home you were so confused
To accept a sheep as a friend you refused
Eventually both of you made a great duo
You no longer took Kurien as your foe

I saw to it that of bones there was no dearth
Yet, every single bone you hoarded under the earth
What a big hole you dug; it was so hilarious a sight
I had a good laugh at your pathetic plight

A fond memory certainly you did etch
When imploringly you looked at me to play throw and fetch
A stone or stick you dropped at my feet
At this game you were adept and quite neat

A chilly night by the fire I sat
You huddled beside me, your back I pat
I stroked your fur and appreciated your loyalty
Through your dark beautiful eyes love emanates silently

Every evening you and Kurien would take a walk
I wonder in what language both of you talk
I watched you thoughtfully when your meals you spurned
The day when Kurien never returned

Your lonely walks you gradually stopped
Disinterested, at my feet you plopped
The sorrowful news in disbelief I denied
That away from home you had died

I know you are happy wherever you are
You are not near me neither are you far
We shall meet again, our bond will see to it
I will return your love, to eternity, bit by bit.

Bindu Vidyadhar
22.07.2009

Sunday, July 17, 2011

The Drama of Life

Life, they say, is a drama stage
You play your part without a wage
Equanimity, say the men who were wise
Will fetch you the everlasting prize

Trust not the nature of happiness or sorrow
Each, the other, will always follow
Beyond these there exists a state
We reach there if patiently we wait

Beyond good, beyond bad
Neither happy nor sad
The stage is set for us to act
Accepting all as a matter of fact

Life is not serious; it’s just a play
Act well; we’re not here to stay
Through mistakes nothing we lose
Another day, another stage, the drama continues

The act played to the very best
Will put all illusions to rest
Act well, expect no encore
Act well in order to act no more

Life indeed is very strange
Different acts as our roles change
Life is a gift; it demands no toll
Till we realize this the curtains will not fall

Pepal Tree
20th Nov 2009

Saturday, July 16, 2011

A Drama Played As Designed

Ingrained in me these few happy memories
With us when you were around
The rest were cause for many worries
As father and daughter we were bound

I wonder how you are coping there
Since you are no longer in the physical dimension
Everyday when I say my prayer
You are the first one I mention

I shall not rake up the past
Let bygones be bygones
The lesson learnt; let that last
Lest fresh karma spawns

I have known this to be true
The peace which forgiveness begets
Whatever unpleasantness we went through
For that I have no regrets

In the silent darkness of midnight
On my bedroom wall shadows cast
The night games played by trees and the streetlight
In fear my heart beat very fast

I heard a stray dog howl and a yelping pup
Petrified I lay still with no other choice
With all the courage I could muster up
I called out to you in a feeble voice

You came running to the side of my bed
It was only a shadow; to my senses you made clear
With a gentle smile you lovingly stroked my head
I slept peacefully with no more fear

Decades have passed and I have wondered
Where your heart lost its tenderness
If only you had sat and pondered
On fleeting illusion and your own blessedness

With no judgment I do however opine
You did what you thought was right
A drama we played perfect to the design
With your memories I no longer fight

Pepal Tree
May 2009

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Aging with Grace


As years go by
I look back and sigh

Not for my hair which has now turned grey
But for what could have been done in a better way
Not for the eyes tipped with crow’s feet
But for those deadlines I didn’t meet
Not for the dry, sun tanned skin
But for those prizes I never did win
Not for slowed down hobbling gait
But for those I preferred not to wait
Not for the fingers frail and bent
But for those moments in vain I spent

Years gone by are never a waste
One life at a time I’m given to taste
If not now there is always the next
A wish, a hope, of being the best

Lifetime upon lifetime given to surmise
To become wise and break all ties.

Pepal Tree
16.05.2011

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Roses




A man with a question wandered around
And finally the man with an answer he found
He who had the answer was none other than the Buddha
He walked the earth long ago; The Tathāgata

The man with all the courage he could muster
Stood with folded hands before the Great Master
With all compassion the Enlightened one enquired
For what was needed to be done as required

“What is the difference between your love and mine?
I ask you humbly, Master, please do opine”
The man with all humility the question he poses
The Master replied with an example of two roses

“Your love”, said the Master in all compassion,
“Is still devoid of all dispassion”
The Master went on for the man to understand
“Your love is like a rose you hold in your hand”

“My love”, the Master continued to explain,
“Is intended to give Joy, never pain,
Like a rose in a bush left alone
With no intention to possess or own”

Pepal Tree
23rdDecember, 2009.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Stillness


Never lose touch with the inner stillness
Lest you get lost in the worlds wilderness
This stillness is who we really are
For caste and creed there is no bar.

What is good and what is bad? What is this duality?
Illusions causing vitality
Stillness is equilibrium
In this Time-Space Continuum.

Listen to the silence all around
To the listeners it is so profound
With this stillness when we do connect
Everything seems so perfect.

Life is neither a comedy nor is it tragic
Be still and allow the Universe to do its quiet magic
Time and place; Never and Nowhere
Stillness is when we are Aware.

We only have to be open and properly see
That everything is as it has to be
Nothing really needs to be changed
In time and space we are not framed.

The culprit is not the mind
It is but a naughty child; Be kind
Befriend it and it will succumb
To your charm; It will open up new vistas with aplomb.

Against this stillness the outside world is perceived
As impulses in the brain the world is received
This stillness is the background of reference
Words are insubstantial to express, to this Stillness, my  reverence.

The created Universe is rushing back to its Source
Every unit of matter taking its own course
Can we compare, differentiate or divide?
When All is One, whom do we deride?

The mind is running nowhere on a treadmill
We have to be aware of this and make it still
Breaking away from eons of conditioning
Beyond thoughts, words or reasoning.

The space around us allows everything to Be
The Universe is not all what the eyes do see
What we see out there is not ultimate reality
Simple yet difficult, self created  complexity.

Thousands of possibilities; Each moment is new
No beginning or end, if only we Knew
Awareness disguised as a person
Realize and break free from our conceptual prison.

Physical matter when it is frozen
As mind and thoughts, when allowed to loosen
The same is however always formless
Who we are as pure Consciousness.

Reverberating through the vast galaxies
Every blade of grass and the seven seas
The only One rooted in this quantum program
“I Am”, “I Am”, “I Am” ,”I Am”

Pepal Tree
April 2009